


Guidelines For a Paladin (Mayhaven Edition)

by CloudF11



Series: Enderbane - Mianite OC Stories [1]
Category: MayhavenProject: Atheria, Mianite - Fandom, Minecraft (Video Game)
Genre: Character Death, Combat, Death, Gen, Magic, MayhavenProject, MayhavenProject: Atheria - Freeform, Monsters, Murder, Not related to any Mianite seasons, Past Character Death, Religious Conflict, The End (Minecraft), The Nether (Minecraft), Vandalism, Virtues, Worlds Being Destroyed, brief mentions of abuse, enderborn
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-11-20
Updated: 2020-11-20
Packaged: 2021-03-10 02:41:10
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 21
Words: 12,815
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27646312
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/CloudF11/pseuds/CloudF11
Summary: "In my lifetime, I have learned many things through various teachings and experiences. I am the only remaining one to hold this lifetime of knowledge. I will not have anyone to pass this down to, but please, to whomever may find this after my time has passed, make sure this falls in the hands of those who need guidance. The values I have learned during my life and during my time as a Paladin should and can be applied to the lives of anyone. It would be a shame if the virtues I have learned faded from time.The following includes a list of guidelines that have been passed down to me, Sir Cloud Enderbane of Riverdrift Rock, from my mentor, Lady Ender Zahlarien of Faldroghast, and from my father, Sir Rylan Enderbane of Riverdrift Rock."=Before the final fight with the malicious entity known as Wikthar, Cloud Enderbane writes a book that documents his experiences in life to pass on to whomever may find it.Inspired by "Rules for a Knight" by Ethan Hawke and the Minecraft series known as "Mianite."Expect a second version of this coming sometime soon, a version that detaches itself from the Mayhaven story.
Series: Enderbane - Mianite OC Stories [1]
Series URL: https://archiveofourown.org/series/2021455





	1. Preface

**Author's Note:**

> Guidelines for a Paladin was something I wrote to get a better feel of how each virtue can be applied, and how my character within this story thinks about each one. 
> 
> Writing this book was a perfect opportunity to write about a character and a world that is heavily rooted in morality and philosophy. This book was inspired by a series known as Mianite, where three gods rule over the world: Mianite, the God of Order, Dianite, the God of Chaos, and Ianite, the Goddess of Balance. From this narrative, I formed my own world with its own lore, characters, and stories. As such, the contents of this book take place in that world.   
> =  
> I wrote this story for a class. We were to read a book and write our own version of it - I thought it'd be the perfect opportunity to write about my character, Cloud Enderbane. I've roleplayed with this character on various Minecraft servers, but never fully wrote out his story in detail. Perhaps at some point I'll write a full story about him, but for now, this is the extent of it. I had a lot of fun writing this, and I hope you enjoy it, too. 
> 
> For context - MayhavenProject is a Minecraft server that originally started out as a Mianite fan server, and has now evolved into a server with its own story. While most of the story focuses on the Mianite-related world I've built for my character, there are some chapters and parts of some chapters that reference Mayhaven.

**Guidelines for a Paladin**

**Authored by Lord Cloud Endernatus of Midfell**

In my lifetime, I have learned many things through various teachings and experiences. I am the only remaining one to hold this lifetime of knowledge. I will not have anyone to pass this down to, but please, to whomever may find this after my time has passed, make sure this falls in the hands of those who need guidance. The values I have learned during my life and during my time as a Paladin should and can be applied to the lives of anyone. It would be a shame if the virtues I have learned faded from time.

The following includes a list of guidelines that have been passed down to me, Sir Cloud Enderbane of Riverdrift Rock, from my mentor, Lady Ender Zahlarien of Faldroghast, and from my father, Sir Rylan Enderbane of Riverdrift Rock.


	2. I. Solitude

**SOLITUDE**

_ Find time for yourself to reflect and be open with yourself. You will find that the silence will help you learn about your inner workings. Your inner thoughts can only be clear when there are no distractions to pull away your focus. Only when the storm clears will you be able to see and understand the sun. When alone, you will be able to understand the complexity inside you. _

* * *

I retreated once more to the dimension of my goddess with the intentions of honoring the words of my mentor. This realm of scarceness is the greatest catalyst of thought. The silent hum in the background of the bleak environment with the occasional sounds of the dimension’s natives – my kin – has always been a welcome home to me. 

It was my mentor who encouraged me to use our goddess’s home dimension as a place to escape to. A place to think. 

“While I will teach you how to be a paladin and the next mentor of the Order, I must have you know that the internal struggles you currently face are important to understand and deal with,” she told me, all that time ago. “I’ve faced the same for many years.” 

I looked up at her, meeting her violet gaze. “I’m listening.” 

“This burden is one you will have to bear for the rest of your life. You know the Prophet Code.” 

I nodded to indicate that I was taking in her words. 

“It is an ongoing internal battle that will linger between yourself and the chaos of the Prophet,” she spoke. 

I watched as a flame sparked from her left hand and an orb of water manifested in her right. She molded the elements into the symbol of balance – the yin yang symbol. 

“While it is important to find balance within yourself, as preached by our goddess, you must know that only you can decide between yourself and the Prophet,” she said. “You can decide to favor yourself, the great man that I know you are - kindness, serenity, empathy and sympathy, compassion, and love. You can also decide to favor the Prophet – manipulation, deceit, false pride, anger, greed, and hatred.” 

The yin yang symbol before her disappeared before my eyes and her gaze met mine. 

“Which one should be the ruler of my mind?” I asked. 

Her serious expression refused to falter. “Whichever one you decide to listen to.” 

I understood very well what she meant. I could decide if I wanted to let myself become a prisoner to the Prophet or I could let myself be free of the Prophet. 

“This dimension is your home,” she continued. “May you find the peace you need here to find your way.” 

Even in this strange new world, I have always remembered my mentor’s words. That my goddess’s realm will always be a home for me. A land in which I can escape to, one that can provide me with the silence I need to put myself back on the route I want to be on. 


	3. II. Humility

**HUMILITY**

_ You are a paladin - act like one. Your status does not make you above anyone, and nobody else is above you. Rise above your ego but allow yourself confidence. _

* * *

My mentor was appointed her position by the goddess she served. The Order was formed around my mentor and her closest friend and was governed by the Lady of Balance that the organization was formed to serve. In my early days of membership, I often wondered why she of all people was the mentor. I didn’t understand what Lady Ianite saw in her. To me, she was an old mage who was often far too scatter-brained to keep her focus on one thing at a time. 

Though, to be quite honest, she did often surprise me. Every time she taught me a lesson about one thing or another, I was reminded of why she was the perfect choice to be a mentor. She valued and possessed the many virtues that any leader should have. Humility was one she valued the most – it, along with empathy and compassion, were a core part of our beliefs. 

As the son of a politician and a guard captain, I was not entirely free of cockiness and overconfidence. 

“Cloud,” my mentor called from across the room. “Time for some training, eh?” 

A soft sigh escaped past my lips as I stood, retrieving my blade. “Do I really need to? We’ve done several hours of training already this week. I think I get it.” 

She chuckled at my arrogance, resting the tip of her blade in the ground. “You may think so, but you will always have more to learn.” 

I joined her in the middle of the room, raising my blade. I took a glance over to see the other leader of the Order watching me. I shot her a smile, before turning my attention back to my mentor. “Maybe,” I started. “Only Ishtar knows the extent of all knowledge. But at the very least, I  _ know  _ can defeat you in combat.” 

My mentor smirked. “Very well, Enderbane. Show me what you’ve got.” 

“I’d be glad to, Zahlarien.” 

Our swords clashed merely seconds after my words left my mouth. Her actions were patient and methodical, while mine were chaotic and brash. I went on the offense when I should have backed off and waited. I was so hellbent on proving myself that I tried far too hard, and when I did land promising hits, it only fueled my arrogance, and resulted in mistakes. 

It didn’t take very long for her to knock me to the ground, claiming victory in our spar. 

I laid on the ground and watched as my mentor came into my line of vision. I felt ashamed for my performance, especially in the present company of my other superior. 

She did not scold me or boast about her victory. She merely reached her hand out to me to help me up. I grabbed it, pulling myself to my feet and dusting myself off. 

“Okay,” I said. “You’ve made your point.” 

My mentor merely smiled. “Never believe your abilities to be perfect and better than others, Cloud. Even then, know that you are capable, if you set your mind to it.” 


	4. III. Gratitude

**GRATITUDE**

_ The healthiest way to respond to pain is to say, “well, at least I’m not dead.” _

* * *

In our war against Botan and the Prophets, we lost many good people to the cause. We lost one of our greatest allies and my other superior to the Prophets. 

My mentor and I dug graves for them next to the Scales of Justice. We laid Valdus and Lux to rest, planting alliums by their graves. I remember almost collapsing from the physical and emotional pain of the battle we had. 

My mentor looked on at the gravestones as I sat defeated on the ground, riddled with grief and guilt. Even as stoic as my mentor often was, her face wore a pained smile. I couldn’t possibly understand how she was still smiling after what had just happened. We lost two of our greatest friends to something that could have been prevented. 

In a fit of anger, I kicked aside the spade as hard as I could. My mentor seemed taken aback by my sudden outburst. 

“If only we had acted sooner, maybe they would still be here!” I shouted, letting my weeks and months of angst escape. “I could have done something, Ender.” 

She approached me, putting her hand on my shoulder. “I know.” 

Ender was silent for a moment. It seemed for a second that the charismatic and elegant mentor persona she always put on seemed to melt away. Her words broke the painful silence after a while. 

“Hey,” she started, meeting my eyes. “Take your time to grieve. But just remember, we’re still alive to tell the story. Be glad you’re still standing.” 

I let out a sigh. “I guess you’re right.” 

“And even then, Cloud,” she continued, “you don’t need to focus on the pain. You had great times with Lux and Valdus, did you not?” 

I nodded. “Yes, I did.” 

“Then don’t be so harsh on yourself for this. We only have so long to live our lives, Enderbane. Find joy and happiness in the things you could do, rather than beating yourself up over the things you couldn’t do. You don’t need lavish things to be content. Remember that, and happiness will come a bit easier. Finding happiness doesn’t have to be a difficult task.” 

Ender’s words did help. While it was hard to not blame myself for what happened, I often tried to look back on what she said. It truly did make things easier. And when the world finally ended, I decided not to be sorry for myself. While I could have done more to prevent what happened, Ender’s words still rang in my mind. 

I remember waking up in the middle of nowhere, laying in the grass and looking up at the blue sky. I was confused. The last thing I saw before I was knocked out by rubble was an ashen sky, bodies at my feet, and Kikoku Botan, the man who caused all of this, laughing at me. 

I figured I must have been somewhere safe, if rubble wasn’t falling from the sky. It was then that a man with green hair approached me, leaning over me. 

“Hey, man. You good?” he asked. 

I merely blinked, absolutely confused. “Where am I?” 

“You don’t know? This is Hiraeth,” the man replied. 

“I’m not in the Great Realm?” I asked, sitting up some. 

“Never heard of it,” he said. “It doesn’t really matter where you came from, you’re here now.” 

He reached his hand out to me, and I merely stared at his hand, unsure what to do. Thinking out loud, I muttered, “I think I was the only survivor.” 

The man raised an eyebrow at me, and then shook his head. “Hey, at least you aren’t dead, though.” 

_ Right...  _ At least I’m not dead. Finding happiness doesn’t have to be a difficult task. 

I took his hand and stood up. 


	5. IV. Pride

**PRIDE**

_ Never downplay your status as a Paladin. Appreciate your title, for you have rightfully earned it. Offer your best self, and others will do the same. _

* * *

Ender Zahlarien was the daughter of two studious mages. I was always impressed by her magical prowess. Yet she never was one to be overly cocky or arrogant about her magical abilities. Though she spent plenty of her years learning from Lady Ianite, she never pushed her privilege or skills down anyone’s throats. She was humble but knew very well that she was capable. She was grateful that she had the chance to learn from the Goddess of Balance herself. 

Ender was the shining example of what any follower and Paladin of Ianite should be. Paladins take pride in every aspect of their life. They keep their quarters clean to encourage a pure and open state of mind. They take good care of their equipment, and train hard to keep their skills sharp. They encourage others to stand up to the challenge. 

A Paladin of any following – whether it be of Dianite, Mianite, Ianite, or any of the Judiciary, must be able to be a leading example. They must hold their head high, and encourage others to do the same. 

I can still recall the scent of the burning flames in my hands as if it were yesterday. I was struggling immensely with the House of Destruction magic. The healing magic came much easier to me, and I was frustrated. 

The flame was born as a simple spark, and died as a simple spark. I could not manifest the flames in my palms. While my stress and frustration increased, my mentor’s patience did as well. 

“Here,” she said. “Stand with confidence. Don’t just try to manifest the flame in your hands, but in your soul, as well.” 

I closed my eyes and shifted my stance. 

“You did well with the healing magic. Think about that. You have the ability to possess this magic, Cloud. Be proud of how far you’ve come,” she told me. 

I focused as hard as I could. She  _ was _ right. I  _ could  _ do this. I had the power within me to cast this spell, and once I did it, I could be proud of the work I’ve done. 

I took a deep breath and snapped my fingers. Flames emerged from them, and a ball of fire grew from my palms. The scent of the burning flame signaled my success. I opened my eyes, staring into the open flames in my palms. 

“Now, aim for your target,” my mentor told me. “Do not focus on impressing me, or Lux, or anyone. This is for you, and for you only. Do not get caught up in the excitement of pleasing me. When you do that, your own power is hindered by your arrogance.” 

I focused closely on the target before me, and readied my flames. 

Pride comes a bit easier with focus, training, and doing your best. 


	6. V. Cooperation

**COOPERATION**

_ You will never truly know the inner workings of someone else’s mind. They have their own ideas, their own struggles, and their own passions. They were born under specific circumstances and at specific times. Everyone faces their own unique challenges. This distinction between your peers is something to be respected and understood. Whether you like your peers or not, cooperation and understanding will result in success. You must work and stand by their side, or fall without their help. _

* * *

My father was the captain of the guard in our hometown, and I was his only child. In a way, I was his squire for many years. My town was plagued with monster attacks quite often, and as such, my father taught me how to be an effective guard. I was always very close with my father for this reason. It was agonizing and frustrating when my father decided to take on another squire. His name was Maddox Fleetfoot, son of my father’s peer, Grissvar Fleetfoot. Maddox’s father had passed in a recent attack, and as such, Maddox had nobody to teach him. 

Despite the passing of his father, Maddox was a bright man. He was strong, accomplished, and charming – everything I desired to be. He embodied many virtues that I had not yet learned. It always seemed as if he was one step ahead of me. When I landed a great bow shot, he would always get a bullseye. When we sparred with my father, Maddox would always land more hits. There was a woman in the town he fancied, and while I was not interested in courtship, it always bothered me how easily he could woo her, when I fell flat in social situations. 

I felt lesser than Maddox, and believed him to be relishing in my jealousy and mediocrity. It fueled a bitterness in my soul, and inspired a feeling of humiliation. I reasoned with myself that if I could not be as great as my peer, that I would not be worth my father’s time. It did not help when I often saw my father praising his work. 

I decided to act upon my own reasoning, and brought my blade to my father one evening. He was sat in his workshop, cleaning his armor, when I approached. 

“Father,” I spoke up, “I’ve come to relinquish my blade.” 

He looked up at me with an utter expression of disappointment. “You’re really going to give up on your training? What is the reasoning for this?” 

I looked down at my reflection in the blade. I could see the shame in my eyes. “Maddox will be a better guard than I will ever be. He is much more worthy of the title.” 

My father stood and came over to me, firmly gripping my armored shoulders. “Have you considered that maybe, just maybe, you can both be great guards?” 

It was then that we both heard the horn sound; we were being attacked once more. 

Father and I ran out to see hordes of monsters attacking the walls. Lo and behold, there was Maddox, bravely fighting the monsters out in the open. They began to surround him, and I jumped into action. With my sword, I leapt into battle, defending Maddox when he truly needed it. 

The monsters did not get the better of us that day. 

After the fight, it was clear to me that I had been making a fuss over an issue that was not truly there. Maddox was not trying to make a fool out of me, but rather, challenging me to be better. I learned that my jealousy was like the sun: distracting, bold, and blinding. It was keeping me from recognizing the truth and clouded my mind. 

I was lucky to have not witnessed the death of my peer that day. For our valiant efforts, we were knighted and became guards within the next week following the event. The two of us became fast friends after I had that revelation. He was a fine man, and it pains me to this day that I could not give our friendship true closure. I was proud to call him my peer and my friend. 

When I joined the Order of the Eye, I wrote him a letter, telling him of my accomplishments. He was incredibly proud of me. His presence in my life and everything I learned from him helped when it came to being a Paladin of Ianite. 


	7. VI. Friendship

**FRIENDSHIP**

_Those who you associate with can determine the quality of your life._   


* * *

I did not adjust very well to this new world I had been put in. My gods were not here, and the ones that were similar did not feel the same. This world’s Ianite was not mine, and I felt like an absolute stranger. As such, I isolated myself and stayed away from most people. The native people of this world told me of an upcoming war with a Celestial. 

The war came and went, and I fought in it without knowing what I was fighting for, truly. Our time in this world was up. These strangers I had only met a few months prior were seen as heroes, and their mission here was finished. I did not particularly care – I was still reeling with the reality that I may never return home. As grateful as I was for being spared of the Great Collapse, I could not ignore the pain of losing my home and everyone I knew with it. 

The Celestial of Time sent us to a new world for us to live in. When we arrived, we were greeted by one of the nine gods that resided over this world. I did not find it particularly interesting at first. I was inclined to return to my solitude and isolation and to never come out. 

In the chaos, I found a young woman whom I did not recognize. A shining teal halo hovered above her elven ears, and she was sitting on the ground, lost in thought. I felt an odd sense of connection with her, as if I  _ had  _ to talk to her. 

With everyone else preoccupied with the Goddess of Festivities, I approached her and attempted to introduce myself. 

“Hey,” I said, kneeling down. “I’ve never seen you around before. I’m Cloud Enderbane.” 

She sat there in silence for a moment, before she quickly moved her hands in an odd fashion that I quickly recognized.  _ Sign language.  _ My mentor had taught me sign language some time ago. 

“You can call me Halo,” she signed, pointing to the halo around her head afterward. 

I nodded, and began to sign back. “Very well. It’s nice to meet you.” 

Her eyes widened when she realized I could sign. It did not matter to me the reason why she spoke with sign language. Deaf or not, I wanted to be her friend. 

“I take it you’re not from this world,” I signed. “None of us are.” 

She nodded and continued to sign. “It doesn’t really matter where I came from.” 

I took her vagueness about her home world as a sign to not push her for info. 

After I found her, the two of us quickly became friends. I quickly learned the only thing she would share with me – that she took an oath of silence. She was not deaf, but chose to speak only through signing. As such, I became her voice. I would convey her thoughts to others when she wanted. 

There was an unspoken rule between us – literally. We would not ask each other about our pasts, but would move forward together, supporting one another when needed. While we were always practically strangers in the sense that we did not know each other’s history, we were close knit friends who had each other’s backs. She was always unbiased when it came to certain conversations, and was always incredibly supportive of my decisions. 

Paladins are always expected to embody the same ideas that Halo does as a companion and friend. In times of chaos and sorrow, they will always be reliable. Whether it’s on the battlefield or in the training grounds late at night when their peer is hurting. It can be easy to be supportive in a time like that, but also difficult to lend a shoulder to cry on when your shoulders are already bearing so much weight. It takes a true and honest heart to be willing to support your friends, even in the toughest of situations. 


	8. VII. Forgiveness

**FORGIVENESS**

_ There’s not enough time in our lives to spend it all feeling angry over one’s mistakes. Let the anger pass. Nobody is defined by their mistakes, so judge by character instead. _

* * *

Having weaknesses is a universal thing. Nobody is excluded from this idea. Even the most upstanding citizen who has done amazing things has weaknesses, and they’ve had to learn how to deal with them. You can be angry when you mess up, but you could also stand back up, dust yourself off, and learn from your mistakes. Like a fallen animal that has decomposed and has begun to enrich the soil and ground beneath it, the mistakes you make can be repurposed into personal growth. 

Everyone makes mistakes. Nobody is excluded from this idea. As such, you must not judge yourself or others purely on the contents of their mistake, but the contents of their character. You will only be degrading yourself by holding the heaviest of blame on your own shoulders, and you will only be degrading others by holding the heaviest of blame over their heads. 

It’s easy to blame yourself and put immense guilt on your own shoulders for mistakes. 

As you already know, we lost two important members of the Order to the Prophets. My superior, Lux, and my colleague, Valdus. I had to cut them both down after they had perished, and the Prophets took full control over their bodies, making it their own. Lux had passed of the injuries her Prophet had inflicted on her. Noxael was ruthless, and so was Tarlac, who belonged to Valdus. 

Ender and I had to fight them, lest they’d go on to harm others. 

I remember how greatly the anger burned within my chest. I felt like I could have done something to prevent the situation from happening – for Lux, at least. I was constantly with her during the days up to her passing. It hurt me greatly to see her in such pain. I had grown quite fond of her, and I wanted to do anything I could to prevent tragedy. I foolishly left her alone the day of her death to take a break. In that short period of time with my lack of supervision, the Prophet took advantage. As I returned, my superior and close friend was succumbing to her injuries. 

I held that moment over my own head for so long. A stupid mistake that cost the life of someone I cared about. I felt like if I were to die in the next however long it took to end this war, that it would be justified. That I would get what was coming for me. And, I guess in a way, it did. But that is a story for another page. 

I had blame for myself, but I knew most of the blame was on Dianite and his servants. Before I went into their hellish realm to confront them, Ender stopped me. 

“Good luck, Enderbane,” my mentor told me. “You’ll be doing the world a favor.” 

“I’m not doing this for the world, Ender. I’m doing it for myself and Lux.” 

“You’re still hung up on that, aren’t you,” she said with a sigh. “The only way you’ll be able to move past her death is to recognize that it was a mistake. You’ll never live in peace until you forgive yourself, Cloud.” 

And by the gods, she was right. 


	9. VIII. Honesty

**HONESTY**

_ We are alive to grow and learn. That time is precious and should not be wasted with dishonesty. The shadows of deceit will only hide us and others from the light of truth.  _

* * *

Only a few days ago, before I began writing this journal of sorts, I found the library in my town to be a disaster. The lights were dimmed and covered, and there were cobwebs everywhere. As such, monsters began to rise in the Midfell Library. Anyone who went in would surely be injured. 

This was an act of vandalism; I was sure of it. I was exasperated by the act. This library was built in the name of one of Atheria’s nine gods, and I was not about to let such an act of disrespect go unpunished. 

The day came and went. I was not particularly in the mood to deal with the culprit. We had been dealing with this malicious entity known as Wikthar for quite some time, and he had attacked me that day. We lost another member of a group that day as well. I was in no right mind to deal with petty crimes, but the work of a Lord is never finished. 

I sat around outside the library, out of the way and in the dark, so I could not be seen. The sun began to set upon my town as night grew closer. I’m a bit ashamed to admit that I had begun drifting off into sleep! But my drowsiness did not last for long, as I noticed a figure approach the library. 

I carefully peeked around the corner of the library walls to see my suspect: Koichi. 

The young man arrived not too long ago. Having been kicked out of his town, he decided to wander, until he found us. 

I watched as he entered the library, cutting down a few monsters as he did so, and took a look around at the mess that was the library. I took this opportunity to approach him. 

“Hey,” I called out to him. He jumped and turned around to face me. “You wouldn’t know anything about this vandalism, would you?” 

I watched as his brown eyes faded to a shade of grey.  _ There it is.  _ I learned previously that his eyes changed based on his mood, due to some sort of magic. I could not tell which color represented what emotion, but I had a hunch that his eye colors would give him away. 

“No, I don’t know anything,” he said, averting his gaze. 

“Oh, that’s too bad,” I replied. “Would’ve given you something as a reward if you knew anything.” 

“Yeah,” he said. “I think I’m going to go-” 

“Wait,” I said, stopping him. I needed to think of something to get his eyes to change colors, and then change back to grey. “You said Drafur was a target, right? I hope everything is okay in your hometown.” 

His eyes shifted to a blue color.  _ Sadness? “ _ Yeah, me too.” 

“Well, if you don’t know anything about the vandalism, I’ll let you go,” I said, watching his eyes. 

They turned to a shade of pink. “Uh, yeah. I’ll go then, half purple,” he said, using his nickname for me that pointed out my heterochromia. 

He shifted his weight from one foot to the other, waiting for me to leave. “You can go now, Koichi.” 

“Yeah, I know. I just, uh,” his eyes shifted to grey once more, “I just wanted to go for a walk around here.” 

_ The grey must indicate dishonesty. _ “You sure that’s all you want to do?” 

He nodded, his eyes remaining grey. I was ready to call him out on his crime. “Because your eyes say different, Koichi.” 

His eyes widened and turned back to a pink color. “You know?” 

“Of course, I do. The fact that your eyes show your moods isn’t a well-kept secret,” I told him. 

Koichi sighed, lowering his head. “Fine. I did the vandalism.” 

“Thank you for your honesty,” I said. “Now, you’ll be cleaning this place up before serving a few days of jail time. Ilvant was in here trying to clean up earlier, and I won’t have him cleaning up the crime you committed. Get to work.” 

“Whatever,” Koichi mumbled angrily, defeated. I watched as he stepped inside the library and began cleaning up the mess he made. I went inside with him to clear out the monsters, and to make sure they did not harm him. 

It bothered me how easily he could lie about a crime like this. Clearly, he was an example of what not to do, but at least he fessed up at the end and came clean. I can admire that, at least. More often than not do people lie to save their own behinds, like this. They forget that it’s much easier to admit you’ve done wrong, get your punishment over with, and learn from the mistake. That’s how we grow, as people – learning. We are but garden plants in the middle of winter; sometimes we must endure the harsh weather to grow. We must endure the pain and inconveniences that come as consequence, and learn from it. 

If time was not of the essence, perhaps I would have kept him in prison for longer than I did. And if he had continued to lie, his sentence would have been much longer. As a Paladin and the Lord of a town, it is my duty to embody the truth. For truth sets us free, and protects us all. 


	10. IX. Courage

**COURAGE**

_ The flames within us can either burn us alive, or fuel us toward success.  _

* * *

A Paladin will face many obstacles in their life, perhaps more than the average person. They are the upholders of faith, and the protectors of the weak. In a line of work and duty such as this, having courage is required of us. Fear will always burn within us. Paladin or not, fear is a rational reaction to any circumstance, but may lead us to act irrationally. It’s up to us to decide in a moment of fear whether we let the flame of fear burn us away from the inside, or allow it to fuel and strengthen us, turning into courage. This decision starts with a breath; a panicked one, or a calm, steady one. Like aiming a bow at a target, the results of this decision are the same. A shaky, unstable breath will divert yourself from your target, and you will miss the mark. Maintaining a calm and steady one however will home in your focus, and you will hit the mark. 

It’s this awareness of breath that will guide you toward courage. This focus allows for instinct to come easier, especially in times where the ability of instinct can result in either life or death. 

After Ender’s last words to me about forgiving myself, I mustered up all the courage I could and stepped into the portal that would bring me to Chaos God’s realm. With the greatsword in my hands that could kill gods, I ventured forth into the Hell that was Dianite’s home. I was here to finally put an end to Dianite’s servants, who caused me and those I cared about so much harm. 

This realm was not one I liked to be in. Having always been more accustomed to the silence and calm of my goddess’s realm, I found this one to be incredibly uncomfortable, as the scorching heat that rose from the lava lakes did nothing to quell my anxieties. The ash that flew through the humid air made breathing difficult. The upright standing pig creatures would attack me on sight, and I quickly learned that forging golden armor would make them passive toward me. The blue and red forests were littered with these pig creatures and the beasts they would hunt. I found myself slightly more comfortable in the valleys, but not by much, as the soil was inhabited by long lost souls. I could just barely hear them calling out to me as I walked over them, my pace slowed by the sinking feeling. 

Despite my repulsion and disgust with this hellish landscape, I pushed onward. As I inched closer to Dianite’s temple, the anxiety tugged at my heart and set my chest ablaze with fear. By no means was I afraid of Dianite. The God of Chaos would forever be a constant thing. It was his ruthlessness, and the harshness of his servants that threatened to unravel me. 

I recalled in a previous page that I “would get what was coming for me.” The events that proceeded after my arrival to the Temple of Chaos proved to be “what was coming for me.” I failed  _ horrifically  _ in my efforts to defeat Dianite’s servants, and as such, I was trapped in this hellish world for an amount of time I do not recall. My courage failed me that day. The heat made my breathing panicked, and the environment heightened my fear to a point where I could not focus. 

Never would I dare to describe the atrocities that fell upon me in that stretch of time. I cannot even recall how long I was in there. The clocks did not function as they normally would in this world, and most of the abuse I took blended together in my mind. 

Eventually, I would find the motivation within me to escape. My mind and body had been broken in this time – it was a miracle I could even begin to believe in the possibilities of an escape. The fire within me had almost entirely burned me up. I was practically numb at this point. It was only when I found a slightly burnt photo of my peers in my bag that I regained the courage to continue on. 

I had family back home. Not by blood, but by connection. I had the entire Order of the Eye relying on my success and safe return. For their sake, I  _ had  _ to return home. I was in here with the nine blades that could be combined to create a god-killing sword. I had the ability to end the crisis back home, and I could not turn my back on the world I loved just because I couldn’t find the courage or the will to continue living. 

I stood up, my broken body ready to give in. I would not die today. 

I managed to free myself of their grasps, defeating Dianite’s servants with the last bits of energy I had. With the people and the world I cared about in my mind, I faced my fears once more, and dragged myself to the portal that would grant me my freedom. 

The purple and black portal greeted me with its eerie ambiance. With the greatsword hoisted over my shoulder, I gathered the courage to face the everlasting fear I held for the entire duration of this war: the Great Collapse of the Great Realm. 


	11. X. Grace

**GRACE**

_ Change is inevitable. Welcome it with open arms, or risk being cracked and broken like a porcelain pot. _

* * *

Often, we rely on a consistent schedule to keep us sane. A school day, a work routine, or a night shift of guarding a town. Having consistency can be beneficial in a time of chaos but can also be harmful. We are so used to having a routine that, when change occurs, we are more likely to rebel against it, or even fall apart. 

It may sound contradictory – and it is – but life is made of up of such things. As with many other things in life, a healthy compromise must be found. Balance between consistency and inconsistency must remain. Consistency can keep us stable, but can make us stuck and unable to move. Inconsistency can drive us crazy, but can prepare us for adaption and change. One must be able to understand both in its entirety and hold them comfortably. Life and death work in tandem, no? We must learn to welcome change in our lives while also keeping our feet placed firmly in the ground. 

Especially in a life like mine, the only true consistent thing is change. There will always be change in the life of a Paladin. As I have recalled in previous pages, I have seen many things in my lifetime. My life has been subject to change ever since I left my home in search of my family’s heritage. I lived within a library for quite some time, reading books in my free time and scouting out the nearby lands later. I only stayed for a few years, not wanting to become so used to being stationary that it became difficult to move. 

The discoveries I made about my family further turned me toward Lady Ianite, Goddess of Balance. It was the most welcoming I have ever been to such a change. I learned that my family was deeply rooted in her philosophies and religion. An ancestor of mine had become stuck in the realm of our goddess, and adapted to become akin to the natives of the land. As such, my entire family has the blood of a neutral creature that was related to Ianite. We hid within Mianitian society, fearful of showing who we truly were. The natives of Ianite’s realm were often hunted, and we were not about to become an enemy to the people. 

This revelation truly did change me, and I welcomed it with open arms. I finally felt free. I truly felt connected with myself for once, and I truly could feel  _ proud _ and  _ happy  _ for myself. Ever since, I have been open and flexible with the change that comes my way – good or bad. 

I write this journal now as a will of sorts. In the coming days, this war against a world-ending threat will come to an end. I fear that whatever change may come, it will be the one change to finally crack and break me like glass. 

To whomever may find this, learn from my successes and be receptive with change. It may be the most beneficial thing you could ever do. 


	12. XI. Patience

**PATIENCE**

_Do not fret if you miss an opportunity. There will always be the next – you just have to wait for it._   


* * *

The town of Leurona was plagued once by a murderer who went by the name of “The Virtuoso.” He was obsessed with performing and saw his killing as an artform. Something was incredibly wrong with the man, something that could only be remedied by the God of Destiny. 

His first kill was a wealthy aristocrat. I cannot stand to go into detail, for the crime was incredibly brutal. We laid the man to rest, and began looking for clues. Three of us found the murderer’s notes, and those same three were maimed later in the night by the Virtuoso. 

It angered me greatly. I was reminded of my past foolishness, and my inability to save those I cared about. For the next six murders, I did nothing but think hastily, prepare my home for battle, and lose my mind. The introduction of a plague after the fourth kill did not help with my anxieties. I wanted to defeat this monster, and I wanted to defeat him as soon as possible. 

The more I let my brain scatter, the more bodies we would find. Everyone, including me, was panicked and unfocused. Our paranoia led us to become inpatient. We let seven people die in total – one of those being someone we knew personally – before we finally stopped him.  We prepared for weeks, putting together all of our notes we had found, and prepared for the fight. 

After our bloody battle with the Virtuoso, the God of Destiny congratulated us on our victory over him, but to be prepared for any dangers in the future. We would later face a second wave of the plague, corruption within the town of Leurona, and a world ending threat. We may have taken victory that day, but our fight was long from over. 

Keep in mind, nobody knows for sure how things will turn out. Do not expect that your fight is over just yet once you’ve found victory. There could always be more just around the corner. 


	13. XII. Justice

**JUSTICE**

_It is our duty to uproot injustice and hold it accountable. A Paladin has no patience for acts that intend to harm the wellbeing of others, but must remember to give the same mercy to the wrongdoers that we would to any other person. Who are we, if we sink down to their level?_   


* * *

A new member joined our group early on in its existence. Elliot was his name. He was raised in poverty, and decided he did not want to live that sort of life anymore. As a devote follower of Ianite, Goddess of Balance, he sought us out. 

Ender had me take him under my wing. If I was to become the Mentor of the Order of the Eye at some point, I needed to gain the experience for it. 

I caught him threatening a town resident one day, right in front of Ianite’s Scales of Justice. I was furious at the fact that such an act would be committed right in front of such a sacred structure. 

I approached him with my sword drawn. I was still far too naive to recognize the difference between justice and revenge. 

I kicked Elliot away from the citizen. He was taken aback, falling to the ground and looking up at me with surprise. I spouted many words of anger and disappointment at him. He was  _ better  _ than this! 

“Cloud.” Ender called my name from behind me. “Put your sword down. What are you doing?” 

I kept the end of my blade pointed at Elliot so he wouldn’t get up and run. “He was threatening a citizen and was about to attack them.” 

“So you sank to his level?” she asked, eyeing the sword in my hand. 

I looked back down at Elliot and realized what I had done. 

“He will have a fair trial,” Ender said, approaching us. 

“But—” 

“Elliot will have a fair trial, just like anyone else would,” Ender continued, taking my blade from me. “Do not tip the Scales in your favor, Cloud. They must always remain balanced and fair.” 

Realizing my mistake, I backed away and outstretched my hand to Elliot. When he took my hand, I pulled him up, and gripped his shoulder firmly. I read his rights out to him, as I would with any other criminal who was being arrested, before taking him to the courthouse. 

There, we held a trial for him, where he was found guilty. He was sentenced to a few years in prison for assault and was removed from the Order of the Eye. I may not have been immediately content with the outcome of his trial, but I realized after some time that this was the desired and correct outcome. 

I remembered this ordeal when I had to oversee a trial of my own. It was one that should have been carried out long before it did, but we finally got around to it. The suspect, Shinigami, had already admitted to the crimes he was being accused of. I was the judge of the trial, administering justice fairly and objectively. 

I knew many of my people wanted to take justice into their own hands. But I could not let that happen. Vigilante justice will often become a vicious cycle of death and murder. It is not a just way to settle differences and grudges. 

We must remember not to become like our enemy; angry, dangerous, and holding the ill intention of harm. The Scales of Justice must always remain balanced, never tipped in the favor of one side or the other. It’s this idea that we have always preached, and will continue to preach. 

Carry your mighty sword in the name of peace and justice, but do not swing it with the intentions of harm. We must all wield our blades to protect those who cannot wield their own. 


	14. XIII. Generosity

**GENEROSITY**

_ We are all brought into this world with nothing, and we leave with nothing. As such, our lives are far too short to worry about the material things we have. Live sparingly and generously. _

* * *

Nothing is more distracting in life than wealth and goods. I’ve seen and read about many wars fought over wealth. All of them have the same outcome: the men fighting these wars die needlessly while their Lord or their ruler swims in their riches. 

It should be known that nobody’s self-worth is the equivalent of the loot they own. As I have stated before, every person should be judged by their character – not the coin they own. This goes for  _ everyone,  _ even Paladins like me. 

A Paladin does not concern himself with the amount of coin they sit atop. Instead, they concern themself with the well-being of others, and share their wealth with those who are less fortunate. A Paladin already has to carry their armor and equipment with them. It would not be harmful to spare a few coins here and there to those who need it more. 

One evening, I awoke from my slumber to hear the horn being blown. This was a telltale sign of a monster attack. I quickly suited up and grabbed my sword, heading outside. Instead of a monster horde, I came eye to eye with a group of people, who had clearly been walking for quite some time. The few clothes they had were quite dirty. Some were injured and bleeding, while others looked sickly. 

I turned to Maddox – the man whom I had written about in a previous page – and saw he had a hefty bag of supplies ready to hand out to people. 

We only had so much. Our supplies had been depleted in the previous days by a monster attack of great proportions. 

Without so much as a word, Maddox set the bag down on the ground and began pulling out food and potions. I watched as he tore pieces of bread and other foods into smaller pieces and distributed it amongst the crowd. He poured potions and water into smaller glasses before handing it to one of them, and watched as they passed the glasses around. 

We later learned that these people came from a small village that had been ambushed by an unreasonable number of monsters and undesirables. Fortunately, we had plenty of space to house these people for some time, and we would be getting a restock of supplies the following day. 

These people settled in slowly, but surely. I learned of a child that was among this group who had almost died from an infected wound. Had Maddox not acted quickly, the child might have passed. 

Within the next few days, I watched as the wellbeing of these people improved. I would stroll through their part of the town during my shifts and would hear plenty of laughter and chatter. It humbled me, in a way, to see that these people could have so very little, yet they were  _ content _ and  _ happy.  _

I was in a very comfortable spot, financially. But after seeing these people take refuge in my town, I realized that not everyone lived as comfortably. I had a revelation of sorts. I did not need all the riches I had amassed as a guard. There were plenty of people out there who needed it more than me. 

As such, I welcomed the needy with open arms, handed them a purse full of coin, and told them, “everything will be okay.” 


	15. XIV. Discipline

**DISCIPLINE**

_ Every skill is the same; nobody gets it right the first time. Holding high expectations for yourself or others is not worthwhile. You must have the patience to gain discipline, and you must have the discipline to keep trying. After all, the world’s greatest structures were not planned and built in one day. _

* * *

Often times, as a Paladin, it can be discouraging to see that our efforts to improve our skills do not always make the cut. It can be even more discouraging to set high expectations for ourselves and end up failing. Such high expectations can be damaging, and can put a cap on your abilities. There is no limit on what you can do – you must set your mind to it. 

It is not uncommon for us to think that, once we get to a certain skill level, we have nothing left to learn. This is not true. Arrogance breeds the idea that there is a cap to our abilities, and nobody can strive further than that cap. In reality, we must always continue our practice. A sword without use becomes a rusty one. We are the same with skills. 

As such, those who believe in the idea that our skills cannot evolve past a certain point are the same who are often far too concerned with the outcome of their hard work. The outcome can be rewarding, but it can only continue to be rewarding if we dedicate ourselves to the task. Repetition is the key to keeping our skills sharp. 

My own arrogance used to be much more of a burden during my early days of training. Being the son of the guard captain back at home had already taught me so much. I was certain I could not learn more. Ender tried to convince me of my shortcomings. I was not skilled with the bow, back then, and I was definitely not attuned with my magic. However, I was too convinced that I was already at the top. 

Our small compound that was slowly forming around us was stormed by Minions of the Shadows on one rainy day. I had all about three days of training as a Paladin beforehand, it was my downfall. 

I was tasked with leading the few members we had into battle. Without training in how to lead my men, disaster struck. I did not take into consideration that the rainy weather had turned the ground into a muddy deathtrap. My men got stuck in the mud, unable to move forward. Some were easily taken down, while others were trampled and drowned in their helmets. We lost the compound that day, and had to relocate. 

I was disgusted with myself after the fact, though too blinded by anger to recognize what I did wrong. 

“Cloud,” Ender said, putting her hands on my shoulder pads, holding me in place. “It is not their fault we lost our compound. You need to be better disciplined and listen to me.” 

Although I was seething with anger, the words eventually managed to cut into me. She was right. I had manipulated myself into thinking that I was capable of anything. But in reality, the opposite was true. 

I was not at all prepared. 

No matter where you currently are in life, please do remember this: to gain discipline, you must be prideful and humble, but patient. Nobody can become the master of their trade after one day of work, and nobody can maintain their skill by boasting about it. 


	16. XV. Dedication

**DEDICATION**

_ Every action comes before a thought. If you wish to be a Paladin, you must set your mind to it, and prepare. Without a solid foundation, your castle will crumble. _

* * *

The Order of the Eye moved into our goddess’ dimension during our early days. Most people would succumb to the bitter cold and deafening silence of these lands, but we were not most people. We were Ianite’s guardians. This realm was ours to defend. 

We set up a small town between the obsidian pillars. I dug into the ground beneath one and prepared my home, as the others did similar. Around the portal that would allow us access back to the main world, we set up plenty of defenses. We knew very well that this portal was a fragile one, and was our only way to get back home. We then built a wall around the area we decided to settle down in, and we all dug tunnels to the portal. 

Some of our members at the time were confused as to why we were preparing ourselves like this. Nobody would come to this dimension, would they? There was no need. Most could not survive long in these lands. 

Our goddess’ realm was slowly becoming inhabitable, even for those of us who could withstand the harsh climate. Warped creatures of unknown origin began forming from the ground. We were outnumbered, but we escaped quickly thanks to the preparations we had made. 

I do not like to think about what would have happened, had we not made those preparations. We were consistent enough to maintain ourselves, and we only lost property that day. 

It truly came down to how hard we worked. The effort we put into the various things we do can make a difference between success and failure. Like a Paladin maintains his armor and equipment by taking good care of it, we must maintain ourselves by planning ahead, preparing, and putting in as much effort as possible. 


	17. XVI. Speech

**SPEECH**

_ A Paladin should be aware of the power they hold with their words. They can direct armies and encourage greatness, but they can also tear down and destroy. A Paladin does not speak certainties of things that are uncertain, or speak ill of others or themself. _

* * *

We are all incredibly social creatures. The word of mouth travels swiftly. The words of one person may end up twisted by the time they reach the end and may birth rumors. Gossip is the greatest enemy of relationships, for it has the power to tear down connections between us. Be observant. Do not base your own opinions upon the ones you’ve heard, but upon the facts. 

Be mindful of your own words. Stray away from exaggeration. This too can brew gossip and rumors, or harm others. Each word has a distinct meaning. Do not misuse them. One misuse of a word fuels the flames of miscommunication and confusion. Be sure to breath as you speak - for our words tend to reflect our intentions and actions. 

A Paladin does not complain or whine. They must not burden others with their issues, but instead invoke change. 

My father and I’s shifts would often overlap. We would ride our horses around the perimeter of the town, conversing to pass the time. One late night, just before our shift ended, I found myself staring toward the moon to keep myself awake. The moon illuminated the night sky, casting its light upon the forest and the town. In that moment, I found a strange sense of serenity, and had to share it with my father. 

“My, the moon is quite beautiful tonight. Isn’t it, Father?” 

He nodded in quiet agreement as he continued onward. I watched as the moon began to hide itself behind the trees as the sun began to peek through in the opposite direction. 

“Ah, look at the sun rising. It’s quite amazing, isn’t it?” 

Again, my father nodded. 

We began our journey back into town, seeing as our shift ended. “I am surprised you didn’t speak much of the rise of dawn, Father. It was quite peaceful. Why did you not say anything?” I asked. 

“I need not speak the words that are already there, son,” he replied. When I gave him a confused look, he said, “It speaks for itself.” 

Later, as I prepared breakfast for the family, the vision of the moon setting and the sun rising stayed in my mind’s eye. I turned to my father, who was polishing his armor. 

“Father, I must ask. What is wrong with commenting on the beauty of the world? Surely it is something that must be taken note of,” I said. 

He paused for a moment, staring into his own reflection in his now polished armor, thinking. His silence felt far longer than just a moment as I awaited his reply. 

“When you go hunting, what is the purpose of the bow and arrow?” he asked me. 

“To kill the game,” I replied. 

“And the point of the deer call?” 

“To lure in the deer?” I answered. 

“Correct,” my father replied. “When you finally have collected the deer or any other game, what becomes of the bow and arrow? Of the deer call?” 

I was unsure of my answer, but I gave it to him anyway. “It’s forgotten? Put to the side?” 

My father nodded. “Exactly. And the purpose of our words to make a point and convey our ideas, yes? What happens to those words when the idea is already understood?” 

“Forgotten? Put to the side?” 

“Yes, son,” he said. “Sometimes, you do not need words to express a thought or idea. Sometimes, it’s better to experience it, instead.” 


	18. XVII. Faith

**FAITH**

_ Even the gods are unsure of the world. To be certain, you must embrace the uncertainties. _

* * *

Each and every one of us is born into a world of uncertainties and mysteries. We are not made to know the truth behind each and every one. We are born with a sort of magic inside our souls – a magic that is not to be entirely understood. It is far too deep and mysterious to be known of entirely. 

We are not in control of how the world around us works. Not even Ishtar, the deity of all knowledge there is to be learned, has a grasp on these mysterious forces that work in tandem to make the world function. We can only control how we choose to handle the forces in life that throw every situation at us. 

Seeking the knowledge of the universe and the universe beyond will drive you mad. There is a reason why Ishtar and the Celestials do not grant us this knowledge so easily. Strive to always learn new things, but do not strive to learn  _ everything.  _ We only have so much time in this life. It is not enough to learn the secrets of the universe. Some things are just too grand and beautiful to try to explain. Experiencing is enough. 

In my lifetime so far, I have learned that I am not solely responsible for the weight of the world, no matter how hard I try – and neither are you. We did not forge the mountains and oceans with our hands, nor did we craft the stars to put in the sky. 

I often wonder if the fall of my home world was avoidable or not. Sometimes I convince myself that there was more I could have done. That I could have done one small thing differently, or I could have done one thing instead of what I actually did. Other times I convince myself that the fate of the world was not something to be put in my hands. It was something that the Celestials themselves decided, that it was time for this world to be wiped clean. 

But perhaps it is not something for me to know, and it certainly is not something for you to know, either. 

Out of all the uncertainties in life, we can always depend on one thing: we are all experiencing the same things, and you are all going to the same place after this life. Put your faith in this idea. Find comfort in it. 

Not even the gods truly know the inner workings of the world. And that’s okay. It’s comforting to know that the beings we praise and look up to are similarly wandering through a world of uncertainties. Perhaps they know more than we do, but they do not know all. It is not our place, nor theirs, to understand the universe in its entirety. 


	19. XVIII. Equality

**EQUALITY**

_ Every Paladin, first and foremost, holds human equality as the truth. The Scales of Justice and Balance do not tip one way or another based on differences, and neither should you judge anyone based on those differences. _

* * *

Do not mistake anyone’s differences for weaknesses. It does not matter the color of one’s skin, the god they follow, the gender they identify as, or who they love. We must all treat each other as equals. Our time in this world is short. Why bother wasting it by being full of hatred for others? Even in the eyes of the law, the Scales of Justice must treat those it judges by their crime, not their differences. 

I will have you know that many great people have been those who are often marginalized. The two founders of the Order of the Eye were women. The goddess we follow is a woman. Our group has been open to those of elven descent. I can tell you from experience that these people who greatly differ from each other have been the most strong, hardworking, caring people I have ever had the honor to fight and work with. 

My hometown, Riverdrift Rock, was incredibly Mianitian in nature. They were practically extremists, and would do anything in the name of Mianite, God of Order. This means they would often twist his teachings for the sake of their own benefit. They were not as discriminatory against minorities as you would expect – although certain unfair traditions laced in misogyny and other bigotry still remained. 

My mother, Cadenza, was wholly devoted to him, but never to the extent of our neighbors. I learned shortly before I left my home that my father, Rylan, always belonged to Ianite’s philosophies, but never went into depth as to why. 

These people in my town, while kind and honest most times, did not take kindly to people who followed other gods. You would follow either Mianite, or Myvasis, God of Nature. No other followings were allowed. 

I remember the day my town made an example out of a couple. The husband was a follower of Ianite, while the wife was a follower of Dianite. I was only a young child at the time, about to witness the cruelty of humanity for the first time. It was a senseless, heinous act that I will never forget. 

The two were relatively liked in the town, which made the act that much more appalling. I watched as they stood before a large crowd, declaring that they will not hide from the public any longer. I secretly admired their bravery, but I would never speak it out loud. It wasn’t long before the Lord ordered his guards to arrest the two. The couple fought back as much as they could, before they were brutalized by the guards with no hesitation. 

I remember the silent shock of the crowd, too struck with fear to speak up against the crimes they just watched. It was this moment that placed a seed of doubt in my mind. I could not begin to fathom why this peaceful couple who had caused no harm to anyone was suddenly everyone’s worst enemy. It simply did not make sense to me. I remember speaking to my father a few days later on one late night. I asked him why our town was so cruel to those two simply because of who they followed. 

“Some people simply do not want to accept the truth that every being in this world can be different, but can also be their equal,” he told me. “No matter who you are, you can do great things, Cloud.” 

I took those words to heart. 

Sometimes I wonder why my father never stood up for his beliefs, however. I learned of my family’s true nature after I left. We were descendants of a man who was trapped in Ianite’s dimension. He adapted overtime to resemble the natives there, and since then, the Enderbane family has always had mutated blood. I even discovered that my father sought out the help of a witch to hide our heterochromia. Until I left, I had two green eyes! All because my father sought to hide who we truly were. My father died without ever revealing a lifetime of dishonesty. I would have rather died standing up for my truths instead of living a life of lies. 

It just goes to show that you cannot be so discriminatory based on certain things. We all have our strengths and weaknesses, our differences and our similarities. It’s much more worth your time to explore those differences, instead of condemning them. 


	20. XIX. Love

**LOVE**

_ Cherish the ones closest to you. Hold tightly onto them, for when you are armed with the love of others, you can overcome any obstacle. _

* * *

Many people have only recognized romantic love as the true and only valid type of love. This cannot be further from the truth. A Paladin can recognize that love can go into anything; the forging of a sword, leading your men, and many other things. 

A Paladin fights with love and heals with love. They confront wrongdoings and stand up to injustice with love for all things good in the world. They fight for what they believe in, not for glory or recognition, but to protect the people and ideas they cherish so dearly. They tend to the wounds of the injured with a love for humanity and life, knowing that every person should be cherished and cared for in their time of need. 

We must all approach everything we do in life with a love for the action. Throw in a few extra coins for the merchant with love and appreciation of what they do. Remind your family and friends of your love and care for them. Forge your armor with tender care, for the best armors are those forged with the safety of its wearer in mind. There is plenty of love to go around. You can afford to put it into everything you do. 

Before you decide to begin courting someone, you must learn to be intimate with your own mind and soul. You must understand yourself, your needs, and how you function before approaching any sort of relationship. How will your partner understand you, if you cannot understand yourself? 

Keep in mind that love is not always a word. In fact, it’s much more than that. Love is an action. Showing this love is as simple as being truthful with others. Do not feign love and affection. The hearts of other people are not for you to harm, but rather, to nurture. 

Be self-aware of the love you feel. Obsession can be dangerous. It can poison your heart and mind. Like a fine alcohol, it may seem great at first, but can quickly become toxic and harmful. Love should be an intense but gentle care for the object of our love. 

I greatly admired my superiors, and they cherished me all the same. After all, they must have seen  _ something  _ in me to take me under their wings. Ender was practically Ianite’s Champion, and Lux practically her Priest. I was in good care. 

While they were never very open about their care for me, it could be seen in their actions. Ender tolerated my arrogance and dedicated herself to teaching me, while Lux took time out of her busy schedule to keep me company. Sometimes, I wish I was more capable of expressing my love for them as my closest friends. I do not think of myself as someone who is good at showing affection, even today. But I hope that they knew how much I cherished them. 

Remember to hold tightly onto those you love. Remind them of your care, through action and word. With their love in your heart, nothing is impossible. 


	21. XX. Death

**DEATH**

_ May the ground your body rests in be fertilized by the energy you had in life. Find comfort in the fact that when you end, new things begin. Such is the tendency of nature. _

* * *

Through my lifetime, I’ve come to learn that it is much easier to cope with the loss of someone when you place more importance on what they did in life, rather than the circumstances of their birth or death. After Lux passed, I had a difficult time realizing this. 

After seeing my own world crumble and fall, and being brought to new worlds by Wisdom, Celestial of Time, it occurred to me as to why I had such a hard time coping with the loss of one of my closest friends. I realized that she would not want me to mourn indefinitely, but rather, to put importance on the life she led. But this did not come easy, knowing the circumstances of her death. 

The three of us – Ender, Lux, and I – we all bore the burden of a familial curse, passed down from generation to generation. 

I have spoken of the Prophets before, but allow me to go into depth – many of you who may find this might already know the story. 

Lord Dianite’s servants, Furia and Kennekii, had created these entities that were akin to demons. They would latch onto a host until that host passed, and they would be passed on to the next available family member. These were the Prophets, and they lived by a strict set of laws that could not be broken. My great ancestor, Tenebris, was the first host to Icholas the Greater. This vile creature eventually found his way to my father, and when he passed, it was my turn to bear the burden. 

Ender and Lux also had their own – Cecilia and Noxael, respectively. It was Noxael who brought death upon Lux. 

The Prophet Code states that, unless one has a child or has done great feats in their life, the host’s soul will never reach the afterlife after death. Instead, they will linger in a Purgatory-state for the rest of time. 

I have since accepted my fate. I would never want anyone to bear the same pain and burdens that I do with Icholas. But it did not help me deal with the loss of my closest friend. I often wonder what would have happened, had I passed before the world fell apart. I would have joined her in Purgatory, but what would have come of us in the wake of the death of the world? 

Now I have been pulled into a world where death works in a mysterious way. This world’s goddess of death, Seline, watches over us. When our time has come, she safely escorts our souls past her gates. It’s quite an odd phenomenon to me. Death seems almost meaningless here when you realize that you can die over and over. However, when fate dictates it as such, you die permanently. 

I suppose this is a comfort to the natives of Atheria. They get second chances. In my world, death was final. You had one shot at life. I suppose it brings a level of comfort to me, as well. But my fate will remain the same. I will never see beyond Seline’s Gates. 

It’s an odd feeling to die over and over again. Simple slip ups can result in suddenly waking up in my bed with a hazy memory of what happened. I never feel the same after waking up. It’s as if I was pulled apart and put back together again, but  _ wrong.  _ I suppose it is the price I pay for resurrection. 

Ah, but I know you will not have to experience the same as I. You will all pass through Seline’s Gates. Perhaps you should take comfort in that. Even after death, you will all live on. Your souls will forever live on beyond the gates, singing in unison of the lives you once lived. And in Atheria, your bodies will enrich the soil they rest in, allowing for new life to sprout from the dirt. The God of Nature will take pride and comfort in that, and so should you. As I have said before, we are all experiencing the same things, and we can put faith in the fact that we know where we will remain until the end of time itself. 

As I sit here before the fire, I am reminded that we will be facing Wikthar in the morning. You have seen me openly speak with confidence and optimism regarding this fight. But in truth, I am not as confident as I seem. If I was, perhaps I would not need to write this book yet. I am merely twenty-four, yet I have seen a lifetime of events. I realize that you will all eventually learn these lessons yourself in your time. Yet, while this is a book of guidelines for you, it is also my will. 

In case I do not see the light of day ever again, this will be left for you to hold onto. 

To Syvis, my love – I leave you the town of Midfell and all that it holds. “Lady Wynra” rings quite the bell, doesn’t it? I know you are capable of leading our town to glory, perhaps better than I ever could. I have my faith in you. I knew all too well that you would live longer than me anyway, due to your elven descent. But I find comfort in this, that you will live on. Please, finish what I have started. 

To Halo, my friend – I wish things were different. If I pass, I apologize that this is the way you finally learn about my past. I am not proud of it, as I am sure you are not proud of the way I learned of your past. 

To Ender, my mentor, wherever you are – I am sorry I could not be there to help you come to terms with this new world we have both found ourselves in. May Ianite’s blessing keep you grounded, and may you find comfort and solace within House Serenity, as I have. 

To Moonie, the one who always seemed like a sister to me – may you and your husband live on in peace, after all of this comes to a close. Among the things I could ever want from life, peace and calm is what I want for you. You and your husband have likely seen even more than I have. Take your pain and forge it into experience, learning, and strength. 

To everyone else – please be kind to one another. I know you are a group of people with differing ideas and opinions – you do not need to tear each other apart over it. As we did with Shin’s trial, you can resolve things with your words instead of your fists. 

I love all of you, despite the conflictions we may have had over time. Please, do not mourn me for long. Put more importance on the life I lived rather than my death. You will find that the pain eases, that way. And if you do miss me, know that I will remain in the soil beneath your feet, giving life to the very flowers you pick to rest at my grave. 

Always yours, 

Cloud. 


End file.
